Looking out of window I see the bay
big, blue and beautiful,
spreading across  like a giant splash of paint
but it just keeps going and going
it is the far end, that is not really end that intrigues me
The distant island like structures, the soft, dreamy haze
and that something even further I cannot define
Stirs my spirit into remembrance of the real

What is it? The previous life in the astral realm? Something I enter in dreams? The unconscious aspect of my being that lives in in the present? The world which is Here and now but we cannot perceive because our ever busy mind has other things to do? I yearn it. I crave it. My body restless, my inner being on fire. Just one look and I melt into it. I become it. I soar out of my body, drawn helplessly into it, dissolving in bliss...What is it?  It is magic and it is real. I struggle with the rational mind, that's doing it's job to remind me that my body is here, that I cannot fly. What a lie!

I let it rumble and drop into my heart. Deep breath....AAAaaahhh! I am in it. I am it. The invisible line of bliss shrouded in mystery. But, oh, yes, I'm supposed to be writing, so back to the body: The words of the limited mind fall far. I'm frustrated, trying to clumsily express something that can only be felt. How can you describe that which is beyond description?  I look and again, and each time I look, I am in awe. One look, that's what it takes. I could just spend all day looking and soaring, that would be plenty. Again, the question? What IS it? What is it that stirs me so much?

Is it the blue waters I see? I've always had a strong connection with water (I guess being a water sign is just a mere coincidence?). Is it the light? The mist? The reflection of the sun and the rocks seeing themselves in the water? I am at awe - how can just one look stir one into such aliveness, such bliss? The mind tries to chip in, offering an explanation. No, just stay with it. Feel it.  What do I see? I see a pocket of water from an infinite ocean merging back into infinity. It is the' infiniteness', the mysterious shroud of mist hiding something that keeps going on an on, that I cannot see but know it is there, that stirs me. If I can just let go of the mind and body limitations I can become it. No, I am already it.  That's why it moves me so much. That's who I really am. An infinite being, that keeps going on and on.

Now I feel imprisoned in my body. The itchiness and being born breakouts in my face remind me I ate too much chocolate. I ate the substance that contains bliss chemicals that are already to be found within, but I could not help the craving. Is that not what we do all the time? Crave on the outside that which inside? Grasping for comfort measures when we feel discomfort? But I did not have an emotion going on when I grasped for the dark brown bliss substance - was it a mere recognition, rejoicing with the bliss in another form? Why would it give me the breakouts then? Why is my body reacting so strongly to something so yummy? I LOVE chocolate, don't you see? Can I have it without consequences? The human truth is, we LOVE chocolate. Especially, if you were born into a woman's body.  They say, chocolate has the same bliss chemicals that are released during lovemaking. Are we women deprived? Aren't we getting enough lovemaking bliss? Perhaps (for woman can NEVER possibly have too much lovemaking, she's an infinite container for more and more pleasure, just like the 'infiniteness' of the bay merging into an ocean of bliss, she becomes only more beautiful, more radiant, more open and awe-inspiring, bringing a man to his knees with surrender to love) but then again: There's nothing more yummy than sharing a delicious, delectable chocolate after a great lovemaking session. Like attracts like?  A tantric union of formless bliss with bliss in a form? Anyway, how did I get here from soaring out in the bay?  I struggle with fatigue, my body not feeling well - I missed my afternoon nap, a MUST HAVE a nap and I'm feeling terrible, my face hurting, shivers of exhaustion running through my body.  I'm crumbling, transforming into a monster...seems familiar, like something that has happened in a long forgotten fairly tale, a night princess turning into a beast with the break of dawn, a flower shriveling up without water or something...I don't know anymore...all is falling apart with one and only desire: To sleep.