"And our life will be perfect and we shall live in bliss  forever and ever..."

 

Many  westerners are drawn to Tantra primarily because of it's sexual aspect: Th e promise of bigger and better orgasms, extended lovemaking and. especially for men - multiply orgasms,  non-ejaculatory (non-depleeting) orgasms, full body orgasms, spiritual orgasms...simply all the capabilities that have been given to women by nature.

 

More and more people seem to be dissatisfied with the limitations of 'ordinary' relating, instinctively feeling 'there's much more!' to sex and relationship, seeking Tantra as a path of deepening intimacy,  rekindling the flames of passion, connecting spirituality and sexuality,  seeking bigger, deeper love.

 

All the above reasons are valid, of course, and Tantra can deliver beautifully.  With just a bit of practice your orgasmic capacity will skyrocket and  your relationship will be blessed with quite a bit of sexual magic.

 

But there's more!

 

Tantra is not about sex.  It it's about taking the lust out of sex and transforming it into love. It is not all about lovemaking.  Or it is - in a larger sense - about making love to life - every  moment, in every situation. It is about seeing the Beloved in the eyes of everyone and being in love.

 

Tantra is a path of enlightenment, differing from other  spiritual paths by not trying to escape the reincarnation cycle, but bringing enlightenment into this body, into this world.  Going deeper into Tantra means  going deeper into personal transformation, and then eventually, leaving the personality behind. Whatever used to be the personality, has became a vehicle for god expressing itself in a body.  Although in Tantra we don't talk  much about the 'death of the ego' (this only sets the ego up for a fight), essentially that is what happens. The old ego is to be transformed into a devoted servant to the soul. Whatever stands in a way,  has to fall off.  If you are attached the 'old ways', this surely feels like death.   Curiously, the bigger obstacle to freedom,  the more attachment we cherish, the more painful is to let go.

 

Some of my own experience...

"At some point it dawned on me that this path is not about 'happily ever after'. What I was presented instead was the process of developing ability to become comfortable with increasingly higher levels of discomfort.  The journey is seemingly endless, once we've worked on our 'own' personal issues, we work on issues of greater  circle of humanity and it keeps going...It's only natural, for as we expand beyond the individual personality, all those issues become Ours - or, perhaps, they have been encoded within the personality already as the reflection of the greater - as there is no separation, you and me becomes blurry, as it is the same.

There have been many times when out of the deepest agony, the wrathful, terrifying darkness of 'getting lost in it' the most profound love emerged. It felt like gazing into Kali's eyes and falling through them to the other side: One moment there's the raging monster ego, the next all the roaring gets quiet and the light and love of divinity fills the space.

In and out, waking from a dream and perceiving the luminosity, marveling at "This is it, I am SHE, it's going to last this time.." then slowly drifting off to sleep until another bump, until another drama becomes so impossible that one has to fall right through it.

The pull of divinity is irresistible, while the ego often trembles with fear, scrambling for something familiar to hold on to with each die off wave. Then, there are plain dumb moments of sheer boredom, neither good nor bad, and those feel the worst of all.  And yet, even from those moments the unexpected magic can arise any time!

The happily ever after does exist within - it's much softer, more tender, yet steady, vulnerable, yet strong. The mission of this journey is to relate to life from that place, to keep coming back home until the drama outside becomes but a colorful backdrop. The inner being cannot be shaken. The inner love cannot go away.  Eventually, the inner becomes the outer and vice versa. No more separation. Love floods all.